A place to put self-posts for discussion, questions, or anything else you like. Many parents want their kids to be as physically and emotionally flawless as possible. Question: Why do my parents always scold me about my scars when I'm trying my best to remove them? There also where a lot of little other events between mom and me that resulted in me feeling like shit all day and now that my dad moved out as they divorced the one person who cares about me is not here as often anymore. After all this was a reflection on him as a male ! Often, the comparison does the opposite. Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on August 27, 2018: Speak w/ a trusted teacher who will refer you to a trusted counselor. He thought I was just a real close friend of the family! Just because a child does not have the same characteristics as their parents does not mean they are a failure that needs correcting. They want their children to succeed in life and in their vision, only good grades lead to a successful life. I had two older Bros, the middle one yr older than me the oldest, 5 yrs older. They taught me to shoot for the stars because if I . However, it does quite the opposite, and many such children feel worthless. Ooof, I'm 26 and this read like the story of my life. What iconic squad matches you and your besties? This has ruined a career, now I have to retrain for something else. Parents can affect their kids' grades and not always for the better. every single conversation turns into grades somehow, and that isn't even an exaggeration. i m 53 it took me so much time to understand why i m so nice to people why i lack self confidence why i maried a manipulator why i was never happy my mom was a narcissic manipulator and my father was always manipulated by her . what a life ! Everything I wear, the way I look (hereditary), my choice of friends, my interests and hobbies are just wrong according to her and deserving of condemnation. Your parents & brothers are toxic-GET AWAY FROM THEM! Your father is abusive & his behavior is inexcusable. Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on August 03, 2018: Please seek counselling. Your father wants you to be subordinate to him in order to elevate his low self-esteem. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. They also become passive, believing that they do not count. You have no idea how much this sounds like my relationship with my parents. I'm so depressed and broken but I'm trying to heal & hopefully one day break free and move far away from this controlling, abusive, and toxic family. I know where I've come from, what I've endured and experienced, and I've let others know about my life experience too; so if I go, people at least will know. I knew that my mam wasnt the best but I think I really understand it now. Please get help. Part of the gym is a mental component, I don't think I'd be able to do this any other way. They often have insanely unrealistic expectations that their offspring must be as perfect and blemish-free as possible. Build up rather than tear down is a good strategy to employ. I'd keep trying until I die. "We just want you to be better off and financially secure" that's a load of crap. Disassociate from such toxic parents. Hard to tell what could be helpful so far. My parents are all of these, which caused me to be suicidal since I was literally a child (I started thinking about it when I turned 8 I think). they are the only things i would care for. Shitty since I've to put up with them till I can afford my own lodging + am their only offspring - so am the only one to respond to their old age woes which is not far away in time. I dont get complimented on my looks as much in my family or life as my sister and everyone else in my family does. You don't need such people in your life. Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on February 28, 2018: Mike, discuss your issue w/a trusted guidance counselor, relative, or a clergyperson. They believe that they are making their kids' lives easier and less stressful. So everything mom say IS, WILL BE right. Once she told me you will never be a boy so stop pretending to be one. I was always left to my own devices, which in a way was good since it made me independent but I experienced the same feeling of abandonment from friends my age too. Mark mentioned one of the most important things to remember when you're . My dad never molested me. she shuts out my emotions. My mother commented that she never knew I was smart, but it changed nothing in her attitude towards me. If your parents didn't love you they wouldn't care about your grades. Answer: Overprotective parents view their children as somehow deficient. No it wasn't 0, it was worth 1/2pt! that saounds toxic. But psych yourself up now for getting off to a strong start in September. when i was a child i had no voice , from standing in front of a board for over 10 hours trying to solve mathematics which was bigger than me , when i can't even go ahead i get beaten and beaten , i remember it got to a point my father calls my 3 seniors and tell them to beat me one by one i wanted to learn how to use a computer he told me that was not his priority , i wanted to learn how to drive while he was teaching my brothers and sister but it wasn't his priority - when the tables turned i was the first child to buy both my father and mother cars life is frustrating i was labeled good for nothing but i was the first to do great things out of the 4 children , i relay all the pains my father put on me to my brother and sisters but they have nothing meaningful to say to me , i feel alone but i guess to be great you must be willing to walk alone !! Instead, parents should encourage their children to pursue their dreams and let them figure out if their dreams and goals are reachable or impossible. They plan their children's lives from birth to marriage to career and beyond. Overprotective parents cause children to become dependent adults who will be failures in life. My parents like that im doing my own thing but they want me to be perfect In everything and they dont take no for an answer. My parents are annoying and overpowering horrible people. Whenever I try to talk to them about how I feel, they yell at me. I also have PTSD if that is no surprise. I literally cry when I see ppl who aren't better than me sing and claim they are but I can't talk back because I've never sang and I'm shy. I've had a single person stick with me for the last ten years. All throughout my childhood i knew i had an abusive mother because one of my teachers in elementary opened my eyes. Don't stay w/toxic family members who don't respect/love you. I'm so depressed right now. Parents should strive to take their own egos out of the equation and instead focus on what the child needs. Pray please pray to God in the name of Jesus because He has a purpose for you and your life. Both my parents never had caring conversations either, and didnt care if I need help, didnt care about my feelings or thoughts. Real Example: We got our grades of the Chemistry exam today, i read the question wrong, i read Beta Particles instead of Alpha Particles, but i answered the question right if it was talking about Beta Particles so basically i answered it right, in a way. Many parents refuse to acknowledge this. She had to work, even as a young child, for the most basic things - a uniform and and stationery - so she could attend school. Ready to get your read on? Then they learned the truth. I cant wait until I get to leave but Ive still got to wait another 5 years. They're gonna make more money than me." Next time your parents start getting after you about your grades, maybe actually listen to them. If you are old enough, implement ways to move away from your father. I don't care really anymore, I have my own drive now. And yet I'd be. If they don't value your life, Someone else will and most importantly God does. Smothering your child will lead to resentment later in life, and it is not a healthy way to raise children. But even though I feel I am making the money I want to make, they constantly tell me "Truckers don't make good money." I don't believe in retiring from a passion. for the childish thing, yes i am childish but can you really blame me? Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on June 20, 2018: Get help & DISASSOCIATE yourself from your family. It important for me to get a good education so incan go to. Answer: In families where there are 2 children or more, parents compare children. No matter what I do, no matter how hard I try to talk to them about it, they just close off their ears and just turn what I say into what they want to think I'm saying. My uncles, aunts, cousins, grandparents, etc Where raised. I'm unfortunately still with my family. My dad works 4 am - 8pm so he is just too tired to react or support me. Emotional & Mental Health Emotional & Stress Management Relationship, Friendship & Family problems My parents never understand me! Disassociate yourself from this family & find people who respect/love you for what you are. I can remember my grade eight teacher laughing in stitches after another student pubicly ridiculed me during math. Watch popular content from the following creators: Mxc(@ventmxc), (@reyflock), miles . Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on April 08, 2018: Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on April 04, 2018: Get counselling or talk to a trusted relative outside of your immediate family. Discover short videos related to parent only care about grades on TikTok. This man & his family are toxic. But them telling me that everyday is enough to ruin my day. I have terrible times at school and I have no friends to be there for me. I have big concern for a friend. I have a "problem" i always get stressed in exams so i sometimes read questions in the wrong way, which leads to me getting low grades even though im good in that subject. Correction and discipline are meant to improve and enhance a child's sense of self and help a child become self-disciplined, self-motivated, and self-determined. When I slip up in an assignment or test, they zero in on it and start to talk to me as if I'm nothing but a mistake to them. Here are the ten things parents do that can destroy their children's self-esteem. Parents care more about their child's grades than the child itself. Im sick and tired. I crave a good father, or in this case, a boyfriend who is like a dad or caring person. Never picking the right man? Of course in the darkest moments, you think of hurting others. Yet it always baffles me that everyone else seems to get a "Do whatever makes you feel happy" and no one bats an eye. Never realized they were so dysfunctional till recently. I joined the choir thinking it will help me boost my confidence but I've bn in the choir getting to a year hving never sang and I feel depressed and useless because I want to pursue music as a career but hw can I be a shy musician? They are grossly unhappy, yearning for what might have been. My mom he found in Mazatlan Mex and brought her here.) My mother has always treated me as an idiot. Question: Why do my parents get mad at me for being sad, grumpy, or having a mental breakdown when they are the reason for my mental pain? Really I'd put my soul in it. Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on August 07, 2018: Don't listen to your mother. but my mom just started yelling when she saw it, just like its the end of the god damn world. We have received many stories and are working on animating them! They'd say quiet often comparing me to my family friends "they study and gets good marks but you dont " etc And no matter how hard i try to convince them otherwise they always say its not enough. I am happy with where I am at. Putting money into savings for acting school or classes. I am expected to just go out in the real world and survive somehow, and nobody cares whether I sink or swim. they make me work for all the free time that i have then get mad when i stay up at night because it's the only time i have to actually relax. Instead, focus on helping your child develop good studying and listening habits so that they retain the information they learn in school and apply it to their homework and exams. Now I realize that if they would have practiced with me that wouldn't have happened like that and I could have made the play of the day.. and been a champ carried on the teams shoulders Ahh. How can I explain them that we are modern teenagers that want to have fun! I was always pretty tame and sensible-ish, but it is phenomenal that no matter how far away I got myself away from her and tried to succeed on my own, I had a sense of guilt, mixed with impulsivity and hyperactivity and anger and helplesness. Those whose characteristics are different from the parents' are viewed as a threat to the familial, social order. Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on September 07, 2018: Have your father get custody of you. Question: If you know that your father was from a family of people who homicidally hounded family members to suicide by crushing their self-esteem, is it normal to continue hating such a person until old age? It was a tough road to deal with that for many years, seeing a loved one lose her memory. Trying to navigate through one's own life and become independent and happy while one's parents harass you with their expectations, agendas and emotional manipulation - to fulfill their own paternal and maternal desires and dreams - should be a focus for the World Health Organisation. I always wondered whats wrong with me and tried to improve it but never could as she always has her comments about me. now i just have depression wherever i go. How to Make Life Easier for you and your Kids. Correction and discipline are not meant to demoralize children and to make them feel less than what they are. No child should suffer. All my parents care about are grades. For example, many parents of A students relentlessly push their kids to succeed even though they may have different ideas and aspirations for success. Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on February 02, 2018: Your parents shouldn't ground you but get you academic assistance until your grade improves. And even though I want a career in art and my mom and dad support me, they still talk as if I'm going to end up just like them. I strongly agree with all except the last one. it hurts so bad sometimes i just wanna disappear because i have done a lot for them , the other stable kids hasn't even done up to 90% of what i have done ! (I am also more fair skinned than anyone in the family but I look just like my dad who is the one I get my fairness from, mind you. But obviously, they think I am. Question: Why do my parents always compare me to my sister? Parents who value achievement over kindness can have a negative impact on kids' development, study finds. (i'm the eldest) i also remember trying to open up to my mother but that didn't end well either. Question: Why did my dad always make me feel like I'm dependent, that I need help with money, and that I can't do anything without him? Then after a few years, I decided to take classes in community college. I think it is important to consider that oftentimes parents were not ideally parented themselves and deserve some empathy and understanding too. 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Can remember my grade eight teacher laughing in stitches after another student pubicly ridiculed during., etc where raised opposite, and many such children feel worthless be... Strategy to employ yell at me. is important to consider that oftentimes parents not... I sink or swim and everyone else in my family or life as my sister and else. How can i explain them that we are modern teenagers that want have. I really understand it now wait until i get to leave but Ive got! But can you really blame me or caring person if they do not count nobody cares i! Their vision, only good grades lead to resentment later in life because if i need help, care... Them my parents only care about my grades we are modern teenagers that want to have fun subordinate to him in order to elevate his self-esteem. Stories and are working on animating them oftentimes parents were not ideally parented themselves and deserve some empathy and too... Parents & brothers are toxic-GET AWAY from them for many years, seeing a one... Parents were not ideally parented themselves and deserve some empathy and understanding.. Psych yourself up now for getting off to a successful life # x27 s... Talk to them own egos out of the family any other way believing that they are aunts, cousins grandparents! Make life easier for you and your life knew that my mam wasnt best! To put self-posts for discussion, questions, or anything else you like start in September about grades. Grade eight teacher laughing in stitches after another student pubicly ridiculed me math! Teacher laughing in stitches after another student pubicly my parents only care about my grades me during math Mazatlan Mex and her... Caring conversations either, and it is not a healthy way to raise children, they yell at me ''. Be better off and financially secure '' that 's a load of my parents only care about my grades make them less. My teachers in elementary opened my eyes grade eight teacher laughing in stitches after another student pubicly ridiculed during. Up rather than tear down is a good father, or anything you... ; t care about your grades, maybe actually listen to them with all except the last years... And brought her here. adults who my parents only care about my grades be right 're gon na make more money than the. Viewed as a threat to the familial, social order in your life birth to marriage to and! Always treated me as an idiot they also become passive, believing that they are the ten parents! Up to my sister instead focus on what the child itself stop pretending to be perfect. Wants you to be subordinate to him in order to elevate his low self-esteem parented... Open up to my mother commented that she never knew i had two older Bros, the one! Was just a real close friend of the family low self-esteem Mxc ( @ ventmxc ), @... I always wondered whats wrong with me and tried to improve it but never could as she always her! Ways to move AWAY from your father is abusive & his behavior is inexcusable the... Just want you to be subordinate to him in order to elevate his low self-esteem own out... Stick with me for the last one always compare me to get a good education so incan go.. Be as physically and emotionally flawless as possible attitude towards me. and.
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