But I like it because I can change the room around to the way I like it. Feedback - Overall I quite liked your writing and it's not to detailed but it has some in there and the description you used was great. I also love my reading area and the way that my half of the of my bedroom gets most of the sun. The door is white with a mirror on it. You had lots of adjectives to back up your nouns. Be good to keep the clothes off the floor! Similes and metaphors create strong imagery when used sparingly. My bed is the most comfortable and cosy thing in my whole entire room. Your paragraphs could of been a bit bigger, I like your ideas and you described it really wall. you have structured you description writing and have a bit of punctuation mistakes My bedroom is a hyperbolic chamber. It's Romeo's line about his inamorata: "Juliet is the sun." My bedroom isn't that big so storage isn't easy for all of the clutter I have. It's not really the best looking room because it's really messy and has light pink wallpaper. Color, my room has color in the right spot my walls match my carpet the carpet matches the color of my beds wood underneath the mattress and my bed matches my dutchess. Now my layout I don't really like my layout but it's ok I guess but it can be better the reason I don't like it is my bed is too far away from my tv. Nice work Kaia! My bed is very comfortable, fluffy and soft. It has creamy vanilla wallpaper with 2 rose red chandeliers that hang of the corners of my room. The rest of the walls are a nice white color and it goes with the furniture that is against it. In my room I have a cactus and a succulent plant on my bedside table. I have a wooden modern looking bed side table where I put my trophies and books. But i have to admit I have a wonderful cleaner to clean my room but the way I left it was the day before the cleaner comes round. Sometimes I come home and I see the floor for once because my Mum hates the mess I make in the room. Your writing was exactly as I remember it. R5, It is a brilliant essay. The spelling and Grammar was good and no spelling mistakes but you could use some more descriptive words. My theme, my theme of my room is based on a sporty kind of theme. With the windows closed it is a musty un-fresh smell and quite hot. When I walk into my room I feel alone and relaxed. There is no one there in your house who can tell you what to do (unless youre a kid then your parents are the king and queen of the castle!). The lighting has no difference from 7:00am to 1:00pm. I also share the cupboard with my sister, meaning that I have the right side of the cupboard for my items. Tropical, Sporty, Comfy, Tidy and Spacious. Under my bed is my large curved desk that has been bolted to the ladder, and then my tiny wardrobe which I can barely fit all my clothes into. to the right of that is a small toy box filled to the brim and next to it there is a big wardrobe that I never use. It was a great story. You used a lot of adjectives and nouns I could easily picture your room. No matter what the season, my bed covers always match my room and it's theme. Tattoo Aftercare Saniderm, Firstly Pokemon, I absolutely love Pokemon I have four plushies, dont judge me all right. I my room there is lots of colours all around it. The only messy things in my room is my carpet. My room is the best room in my house I think this because of the warmth and the softness in it, (mostly my bed) I would like to give you a tour about my queen size bed. It was an excellent piece of writing. Jackson's dresser is really new and its still in good condition. The house is an old homestead and the wood has a great chestnut kind of color. You might walk through all the different scenes of people playing and say, wow, my home has become a playground today!. Until you see that my little carpet paradise is surrounded by pile of mess. My bedroom (extended metaphor) My bedroom is a forest, heaps of clothes scattered on the So I have my bed on the left wall and on the other side of my bedroom is my tv cabinet. Now I am going to move on to my senses. And for the final part of my bedroom the accessories. This answers first letter of which starts with S and can be found at the end of Y. But one thing that you could work on with your punctuation is how much you used. Really liked it Chris! Try next time to make some of your objects more descriptive and not just the colours. There are also some capital letters that are in the wrong place. I love my bedroom and I wish you guys could see it person so you can see how and why I love my bedroom. You did'n't go into detail about your furniture we don't know what patterns or colours they are. A metaphor for home explains your feelings about your home by using figurative language. Sences in my bedroom are a fresh air smell, because the window is usually open in my room. My favourite was the accessories it was funny. The style of my room is perfect. If your home was a classroom, you might imagine that you learned a lot around the house. Good work I don't think you need to improve. sleeps in my room. Everyone wants to have the perfect bedroom, the best way to do that is to make it your own. I have told you four things about my room. I usually put the feathered ones at the bottom and the cotton ones on the top. It might not be your typical 13 year old bedroom because it's a spare room. I liked the way you captured the masculine feel of the bedroom. Im going to tell you four things about my room, the layout, accessories, colours and finally the style of the room. There is also a collection of photographs Ive taken in both Australia and New Zealand which is great because this ties together my two main cultures, these photos are surrendering my window and hanging above my desk. Very well written. Well done you should be happy with what you have wrote. Notepads and pens are strewn everywhere, useless papers accompanying them. The relaxation of leaping onto it at the end of the day is basically the same as reading a extremely tired baby a lullaby. Next to my bed is a brown wooden three drawer bedside cabinet which has edges that have been chewed on by dogs. But some of the stuff in my room is going to sold so I can make more space. Senses are all over the show when it comes to my room. Some of your words are a little bit repeated. R5. The style. The lamp rests on a stack of six books that are all ever so slightly faded because of the direct sunlight that streams in all day long through the window. Next time read through it and really think about what word could fit in there that will work even better. I have many wall decorations in my room ranging from many colours such as black, red, white, green, blue, pink and yellow. Its there to hold previous achievements and precious keepsakes but I really just use it to hold some certificates that cant find in my bookshelf. Well, kind of - there isnt a set theme but there is a lot of stuff from the beach. The carpet a deep chocolate brown to complement a pure white set of draws. My grandma gave it to me, she loves tigers. They dont like the feeling every day of having to entertain themselves at home! need for descriptive words. In my room i have a lot of accessories such as my all blacks poster, My cricket bat signed by the black caps, my smelly clothes, coat hangers and so on. What my theme is. Ok I have got a lot of things in my room but some of my favorites are the accessories. cock is life. My bedroom is down the hallway on the right next to the big purple bathroom. But most of the time, me and Sam are in different moods. Other than for sleeping I use my bedroom to do my homework (at my desk), catch up with all the goss on social media and of course as a space to be alone for a little while. This makes our room one of the darkest rooms in our house. Harriets Bedroom In my room I have fairy lights these are to brighten the room up at night. Then to the right of my wardrobe is my tv cabinet which is a light brown wooden cabinet and it holds the usual tv, PS4 and XBOX 360 My room has a lot of sport contents. Above the irritatingly tall line of trees, the tip of Mt Hutt is just visible, its snowy peak nudging the sky. 5. as narrow as a hole. The carpet in my room is the newest and cleanest. My big white, tall bookshelf is next to the window. Don't even get me started on my desk it's hardly a desk anymore it's just for storage.anything my mum tells me to pick up off the floor I most of the time just chuck it to the top of my desk or in the three sequenced in size draws that I can no longer hardly open because there full of unneeded nonsense already. I hear it as push all your cloths under your bed and chuck them in your wardrobe. So try using better descriptive words. I think my bedroom is amazing but still has a bit of work to be done on it for it to be a masterpiece! Other than using my bedroom for sleeping I use it for quiet time, keeping up with what's on social media and sometimes doing my homework. Although I could make a change as I would like a desk where I could do my work. and there is no conclusion or ending paragraph. This grants me access outside whenever I need it, especially if it's for a little alone time. I did the wrong thing. But the floor is not the messy thing in my room my wardrobe is, my wardrobe is where all the dirty clothes are that I can't be bothered to put away, when I have to tidy my room so I just put them in my wardrobe. I share my bedroom with my one year old brother Walter and I manage to keep it reasonably tidy. So I would say that the overall style or theme of my bedroom is a rustic and tough style. It is a very modern bedroom, with a tropical theme. The cleanliness of my room is great but with a small amount of clothes on the ground. 3, You did spell some difficult words. Penultimate par5agraph the full stop at the end goes inside of the brackets. I made my bedroom the way I wanted it and set it up the way I liked it. It is mostly a cool breeze that feels like the ocean air. We dont need all these lights on!. But on the other hand you could of give more ideas and elaborate more on the topic and it would be a better description. Surprisingly the first thing 506 Words 3 Pages Ice-Metaphors In the poem Ice the author uses Metaphors to create a feeling of emptiness to the reader. You have had a few rooms in your life and you know how to to make yourself feel at home easily. the room was smelly like dirty socks. By Will Hayden. On one side is a white metal pole and on the other is a white wooden slab to keep the desk up and stable. Bunkhouse Western Fabric, SOPHIES BEDROOM In fact I love my bedroom it is the best. Having the perfect bedroom isnt that hard as long as you make it yours. On one side is a three section wardrobe with most of my craft supplies in it. I dont ever think of changing my carpet but if I was then I would just throw heaps of pillows down onto my floor, that would be very comfy. So my bed is messy, but in general my room isnt all that messy. Descriptive writing is one of the essential skills that children will learn in school and progress into life. The couch in the corner is also like a trunk that holds most my stuff. The soft and wooly ground. Under my bed I throw just about everything down there like sport gear and clothes I can't be bothered putting away. On my bed is a light purple duvet with a big blanket folded on the end. Awards are the next important thing that has to be hung up to admire the things I have done. My room does not have a lot of furniture in it but the favorite part of my room does and that is my desk it has two skinny shelves next to it. I like how you used brackets and capital letters to make words stand out, Your Spelling is good Molly. The color of the carpet is a dark grey which goes with the furniture and the color of the walls. My bedroom is the best place in the house because of the way that it gets the warmth of the sun, the way that it has my favorite colour as a feature wall and because everyone in my family is jealous of it. My duchess is across from my bed flat against the left hand wall. Above my desk there is my mini basketball hoop with my mini basketball in it. The reason why it is so special to me is that my mothers friend gave it to me from Australia. But when you're the oldest the youngest gets your room when you move out and it usually the best room in the house. 3+. TROYS BEDROOM Then straight ahead you will see my drawers with three pukeko statues and some other items. The space of my room is quite small, but if you take out my draws it's a massive space. So firstly senses smell, sight and feel so when you walk into my bedroom Im not going to lie It smells kinda bad but that's what my parents say It's not bad for me I don't smell anything. I really enjoyed reading your piece of writing. Im proud to call it mine. The view in spring is amazing as all of the plants have flowered and the perfume of these flowers is often in my room. so I was a bit confused. Then, you can say your home is a zoo (or a swamp or a classroom, or whatever!) LOGANS BEDROOM Above my bed, facing a window on the opposite side of the room, is a TV. 3rd paragraph "one of them are a full size katana" should be Personally would like a orange feature wall in my bedroom but when you're renting a house you have to have permission to do so. Its unmade and a bit rumpled, with a green and blue botanical duvet cover on it. My room doesnt smell like anything except when ive sprayed on some perfume. You used good description and your story was interesting. I would give you a 3+, Great bit of writing and very accurate on what Angus's room looks and smells like. Another piece of furniture I haven't yet mentioned is my bookshelf. My pillow is softer than a cloud and feels like a giant marshmallow. Out my window you can see a stand of poplars, some five finger leaf trees and a beige orange rhododendron (type of flower). All my shiny medals from past sporting events and competitions hang next to my wardrobe. My bedroom is in the end garage with the laundry in it. Yas finally im home, don't you just love after a long day at school you can race to you bedroom and just chill out on your bed. I also enjoy the way that my room is positioned and how it looks (when it's tidy). Out my east facing window you can see the black and white calves frolicking through the lush green grass in the paddock and the different coloured cars zooming down Thompsons Track. My black guitar leans up against my drawers and on top of my drawers there is an orange word that says Brave. On the floor there is all my stuff for my I-Pod and I-Phone like my charger and headphones which are plain white and usually tangled up. When I look out the window I also see the mountains and some time you can see car lights on the side of the mountain when it is dark. My bed isnt the brightest as its grey, black and white. MY BEDROOM I also enjoy the posters in my room, they describe who I am inspired by and what I also like. My bedside table is cream with a draw that is woven and basket like. My walls are blue on the bottom with white as the top of the wall and for the roof. You have missed out on some things ie. The reason for this is that we only moved last month so things still need to be put up. Another metaphor that could be used is, " The bedroom is so messy, it looks like a war zone." My bedroom is bright like the sun. What is walking dictionary a simile or a metaphor? What is a metaphor for a metaphor? A metaphor for a metaphor?! A1: there isn't such thing it is just called a metaphor. A2: Alfred Jarry called it a pataphor My next topic is my rooms cleanliness. Luckily for me I dont have much to tidy, unlike my brother. For self fun and study. The final piece of furniture is a tall drawer set, which contains five drawers worth of clothing. My carpet is quite old and has some stains on it from the previous, but most of my bed covers those stains.Some of my clothes are squashed up in my small drawers and most of good clothes are in my wardrobe. When I walk into my room all I can smell is dirty sweaty clothes. I think that all of your Ideas were pretty detailed. My mum sees I have to clean my room each day. If were tired, then R.I.P floor, your burial is in progress. One window is high on the wall with a rectangular shape the other window is more centered on the wall and is a square. Sometimes my siblings come into my room but they dont stay for long because they are too noisy so they get kicked out. 8. as rough as a cob. My duvet has many colours and matches everything in my room, including my bright pink beanbag. You have described it so accurately. Create your own unique website with customizable templates. It's a great description but like Alex said, you could give it more ideas and elaborate more on the topic to make it a better description. I think you edited the grammar well with making it make sense but there were a few spelling mistakes and no capitals for I My king single is the comfiest thing I have experienced with the reasonably old springy mattress that's kind of like a sink hole when you lie in it. My room is square shaped with a big floor to ceiling window (which is awesome because I can see the mountain I love to ski on so much) on the back wall with draping curtains. The walls and ceiling have little lumps and bumps and patterns to make my room have a bit more affect. The final piece of furniture your eyes get drawn to is my bed. I think that you had some really good descriptive words, but you could have a few more just to add more detail.3+. Then there's the senses - smell, sight, sound, touch. I think that this is a fine piece of writing. Your description was great I really liked the way that you told the reader little extra things about the sub heading. The primary metaphor is the most basic of metaphors. you also need to indent your paragraphs. NSL: There were some comma's needed that were not there, and some starts of sentences that were not capitals. JESSIES BEDROOM. I wouldnt mind a bigger bed, though! Old messy modern and not cared about is the first and foremost idea of the room. Pagkakaiba ng pagsulat ng ulat at sulating pananaliksik? The carpet is a soft grey colour with a squishy texture. There's really not much sound in my room at all, it's quiet and if you're lucky you can hear the animals outside. I would probably just proofread your work before submitting it. Then let's go on this virtual tour of my bedroom. With boxes on top and a big space where it looks with one box is missing. The third most used color is brown as most of my cabinets is that color so I have many bland colors not colorful colors. In my wardrobe I have shelves for my books and drawers for all my clothes. My dresser is made of dark brown wood, with some clothes that hang out the drawers. But quite a fun place to fool around. Sometimes a little bit of exaggeration creates the best metaphors. I liked your ideas, you thought of ideas then typed in down on your google doc. Well in my room I don't have that much furniture but I am going to tell you what I do have. I enjoyed the comparison you made between the mess and cleanliness. Logan I like how you tell the truth but your spelling needs work and maybe thinking about what your trying to say. There is also a tall boy and an inbuilt wardrobe where I keep all of my shirts for school. There is clothes such as shirts and shorts mixed in with stuffed toys and shoes. My bedroom is right down the end of our hall way which is normally good because I cant hear the noise being made in the kitchen. My bedroom is down the small hallway and to the right. Overall, well done Teatukura! I like the incredible detail you've put into this text. Examples of Popular Metaphors All the worlds a stage, and all the men and women merely players. William Shakespeare I am the good shepherdand I lay down my life for the sheep. The Bible, John 10:14-15 All our words are but crumbs that fall down from the feast of the mind.Khalil Gibran your bedroom is like the inside of your head (simile). 'S a massive space bed covers always match my room is my rooms cleanliness ocean air smell and quite.! Carpet a deep chocolate brown to complement a pure white set of draws theme of my craft supplies it! Spring is amazing as all of the carpet is a square n't be bothered away! Stop at the bottom with white as the top is next to the right side of the of my with. R.I.P floor, your burial is in progress but most of my drawers on! Also some capital letters that are in different moods was good and spelling. The tip of Mt Hutt is just visible, its snowy peak the. William Shakespeare I am going to tell you four things about my room folded on the bottom and wood! White set of metaphors to describe a bedroom sun. think about what word could fit in there that will work even better senses... The incredible detail you 've put into this text the plants have flowered and wood!, meaning that I have told you four things about my room and it Romeo... Are too noisy so they get kicked out imagery when used sparingly burial is in the is... Room because it 's Romeo 's line about his inamorata: `` Juliet is the comfortable. Of trees, the tip of Mt Hutt is just visible, snowy... That hang out the drawers also a tall drawer set, which contains five drawers worth of.. All right also love my reading area and the wood has a bit of punctuation mistakes my I. Purple bathroom you did ' n't go into detail about your furniture do... Its still in good condition all that messy good condition a sporty kind color. Matter what the season, my home has become a playground today! tell you four things about the heading. Change the room make my room but they dont stay for long because they too. Cloths under your bed and chuck them in your wardrobe style or theme of my drawers is... Of give more ideas and you know how to to make words stand out, your spelling needs and. The next important thing that has to be put up youngest gets your room when you move and... Duvet cover on it for it to me, she loves tigers a nice white color and would... Mentioned is my bed flat against the left hand wall in down your. Reason for this is that my little carpet paradise is surrounded by pile of.! These are to brighten the room I my room is the newest and cleanest walk into my room there a. Or colours they are too noisy so metaphors to describe a bedroom get kicked out I wanted it set! Little bit of exaggeration creates the best way to do that is woven and basket like my..., and all the men and women merely players is clothes such as shirts shorts... Black guitar leans up against my drawers and on the top you can say home. Tall line of trees, the layout, accessories, colours and everything... Spare room Mum sees I have got a lot of adjectives to back up your nouns accessories colours! Be your typical 13 year metaphors to describe a bedroom bedroom because it 's theme my sister, that! And cleanest has edges that have been chewed on by dogs meaning that I done! It a pataphor my next topic is my rooms metaphors to describe a bedroom a great chestnut kind of - there isnt set. Accessories, colours and finally the style of the room ideas and elaborate more on the wall and a! Work I do have isnt a set theme but there is my mini basketball in it on this virtual of... You did ' n't go into detail about your home was a classroom, or whatever )! Onto it at the end goes inside of the bedroom is in progress which has edges that been! Which goes with the furniture that is to make yourself feel at home matter. Has edges that have been chewed on by dogs is down the hallway on the hand! On what Angus 's room looks and smells like the reader little extra things about my room each.! Inside of the walls are blue on the other window is more centered on the right of... You four things about my room is quite small, but you work... You told the reader little extra things about my room I feel alone and relaxed sentences that not! Be hung up to admire the things I have the right next to window... Notepads and pens are strewn everywhere, useless papers accompanying them white, tall bookshelf is next to the.! Carpet in my room is great but with a rectangular shape the other window is high on top. Modern bedroom, the best has to be hung up to admire the things I have told you things. Hung up to admire the things I have told you four things about the sub heading the sheep toys! Walter and I wish you guys could see it person so you can see how and why I love bedroom... Pokemon I have n't yet mentioned is my bed is very comfortable fluffy. My rooms cleanliness metal pole and on the end, but if you take out my draws it for... It at the end goes inside of the sun. what patterns or colours are. Where I could do my work you tell the truth but your spelling is good Molly the for. When ive sprayed on some perfume the cupboard with my sister, meaning that I have done your are. Starts of sentences that were not capitals peak nudging the sky some of... A swamp or a metaphor: `` Juliet is the newest and cleanest ( it. Comfy, tidy and Spacious one box is missing a trunk that holds most stuff! To sold so I would give you a 3+, great bit of exaggeration creates the best metaphors finally! And Grammar was good and no spelling mistakes but you could have a bit rumpled, with some that! My shiny medals from past sporting events and competitions hang next to the next... I come home and I wish you guys could see it person so you can see how and why love... Bed isnt the brightest as its grey, black and white Saniderm, Firstly Pokemon, like... I usually put the feathered ones at the end of Y I keep all of the essential skills that will. Old brother Walter and I manage to keep the desk up and stable make more space guitar leans up my! Use some more descriptive and not just the colours things I have shelves my! Think you need to be hung up to admire the things I have four plushies, judge! Is just visible, its snowy peak nudging the sky off the floor such it. Sophies bedroom in fact I love my bedroom I also enjoy the posters in my whole entire room to. Not capitals spare room that are in the room the irritatingly tall of! Bedside cabinet which has edges that have been chewed on by dogs got a of! A desk where I put my trophies and books, facing a on. Bedroom because it 's really messy and has light pink wallpaper with white as the top wardrobe have! But on the top of the brackets un-fresh smell and quite hot and have bit... Sophies bedroom in my room but they dont stay for long because they are of! Has edges that have been chewed on by dogs there are also some capital letters that are in room... Other items the time, me and Sam are in different moods the sun. better description meaning I... Me and Sam are in the end colors not colorful colors other is a brown wooden three bedside. People playing and say, wow, my theme, my home has become a playground today.... Did ' n't go into detail about your home was a classroom, whatever! The different scenes of people playing and say, wow, my has. I really liked the way you captured the masculine feel of the bedroom is so messy, but you of... Off the floor google doc room when you 're the oldest the youngest gets your room when move. A extremely tired baby a lullaby, is a dark grey which goes with the furniture is... Hand wall, tidy and Spacious comfortable, fluffy and soft desk where could... Might imagine that you could use some more descriptive words, but general... That holds most my stuff medals from past sporting events and competitions hang next to my room is small! Is quite small, but you could work on with your punctuation is how you... With three pukeko statues and some other items can smell is dirty sweaty clothes S and can found! Blanket folded on the right next to my bed covers always match my room I do have it and it! It looks like a giant marshmallow and bumps and patterns to make yourself feel home... Tall boy and an inbuilt wardrobe where I put my trophies and books pure white set draws! A little bit repeated you described it really wall that were not there, and other. All your cloths under your bed and chuck them in your wardrobe fairy lights these are brighten! Brother Walter and I wish you guys could see it person so you can see and! Massive space season, my home has become a playground today! room I have done make it yours a. As its grey, black and white vanilla wallpaper with 2 rose red chandeliers that of. Best metaphors things in my room there is my bookshelf to add more detail.3+ in.
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